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    网上下载的叫我第一名电影台词
    1
    My name is Bradley Cohen.

    2
    But when I was a kid, people called me by lots of names.

    3
    My brother, Jeff, called me Dr. Bobo.

    4
    My mom called me honey.

    5
    And the kids at school?

    6
    Well, they called me everything from spaz to freak.

    7
    I didn't have many friends actually.

    8
    But I did have a constant companion.

    9
    I can barely remember a time when it wasn't there.

    10
    Now sometimes, it wasn't a problem for me.

    11
    Other times, it was.

    12
    Drop what? Drop books?

    13
    Stop it.

    14
    Are you scared Brad? What's wrong?

    15
    Leave me alone.

    16
    Fight! Fight! Fight!

    17
    What is going on!

    18
    - Com'on. Bring it on! - Stop.

    19
    Stop that fighting right now! Stop! Get back to class!

    20
    Stop that nonsense. You are in big trouble, mister.

    21
    The girl fell in the mud and got dirty.

    22
    One thing my Constant Companion and I agreed on was that we hated school.

    23
    I couldn't wait until I got out.

    24
    No more homework, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks.

    25
    My Companion first showed up when I was six

    26
    but it was years before it had a name.

    27
    Now the shrinks said I was just hyper;

    28
    I made funny noises and acted weird to draw attention to myself.

    29
    It was just a phase: I'd grow out of it and be "normal"...

    30
    ...like everybody else.

    31
    Through it all, my constant companion stuck with me.

    32
    Now, to my friends, I'm just regular, ole Brad.

    33
    The guy who likes baseball. And who loves cheesy 80s music.

    34
    Which they think is much weirder than the noises I make.

    35
    "Baby Don't Forget My Number. "

    36
    Afternoon, officer. Was I speeding?

    37
    Twelve miles over the limit.

    38
    St. Louis, huh? You a tourist?

    39
    No, I live in Atlanta now, I just moved here.

    40
    I guess I was a little distracted...

    41
    Son, you been drinking...?

    42
    No. No, sir. I have Tourette Syndrome.

    43
    Take it easy, son. I'm going to need you to sign this.

    44
    So. What kind of job you looking for?

    45
    Teaching.

    46
    I'm going to be a teacher.

    47
    I get that look a lot;

    48
    but I never let it get to me.

    49
    I see you've got a B.A. from Bradley University -

    50
    that's in Illinois, isn't it?

    51
    Yes, ma'am!

    52
    Graduated cum laude, high recommendations,

    53
    your student teaching evals are outstanding, excellent.

    54
    What made you decide to go into teaching?

    55
    It's all I've ever wanted to do. I feel like I was born to teach.

    56
    Why choose Atlanta?

    57
    I mean... Missouri's your home.

    58
    I'm thinking of becoming a Braves fan. So, ahh...

    59
    Georgia honors my Illinois teaching certificate.

    60
    Plus I fell in love with Atlanta

    61
    when I worked down here as a camp counselor.

    62
    I live here now.

    63
    So does my Dad and my Stepmom.

    64
    Well, it's nice to have family here to... give you support.

    65
    Maybe we should talk about the elephant.

    66
    Elephant?

    67
    In the room: my Tourette's.

    68
    No. The Americans with Disabilities Act doesn't allow me to ask you...

    69
    I know, but I'd like to tell you - just like I tell the kids in my classes.

    70
    See, I explain to them that it's a brain thing

    71
    that causes me to make strange noises - they're like sneezes, irrepressible.

    72
    When you have to,

    73
    you have to.

    74
    How do they react?

    75
    Once they understand, they're fine with it.

    76
    It's never caused any problems in a classroom.

    77
    All I want is a chance.

    78
    Just get me the interviews,

    79
    and let me prove to them that I can do the job.

    80
    The Americans with Disabilities Act says I'm entitled to a chance.

    81
    Ron!

    82
    Hey, how'd it go?

    83
    Oh, you know: "Who wants a teacher that barks like a dog?

    84
    You should try another line of work. "

    85
    Are you serious?

    86
    Didn't they look at your resume?

    87
    You're kidding.

    88
    They're setting up interviews with some principals.

    89
    - Fantastic! - When?

    90
    Oh, I don't know. I've gotta wait for their calls.

    91
    Get changed - we gotta go celebrate.

    92
    Haven't you got a date?

    93
    I'll see if she's got a friend.

    94
    It's about time you started meeting some chicks.

    95
    I can't focus on dating right now.

    96
    Has anybody ever tell you you're obsessive?

    97
    Only every shrink I ever saw.

    98
    Well, have fun focusing.

    99
    Oh - your Dad called again.

    100
    Maybe you should call him back, you know?

    101
    All right. I'll see you later.

    102
    Returning Dad's call?

    103
    I'd have to prepare for that.

    104
    See, Mom and Dad had divorced when I was a little kid and my relationship

    105
    with Dad had always been - umm, let's just say - complicated?

    106
    I mean, I wore out his patience like nails on a chalkboard.

    107
    It didn't help that my brother Jeff was also a little hyper.

    108
    Dad said he's waiting to get back to his home in Atlanta,

    109
    he's waiting to say goodbye -

    110
    Goodbye!

    111
    You're gonna make him mad!

    112
    Come on - I'll race you!

    113
    Against The Green Dragon? You gotta be kidding -

    114
    Sucker!

    115
    Cheater!

    116
    Short cut!

    117
    You got a bike.

    118
    See you, Jeff.

    119
    Hey! That's not fair!

    120
    Aw, com'on!

    121
    Jeff!

    122
    You're not going to beat me!

    123
    See, I'm gonna win.

    124
    That's not fair! You got a bike!

    125
    Oh, no you're not! Oh, no! You are!

    126
    Hey guys! quiet down, you guys, quiet down.

    127
    We do have neighbors you know. Com'ere.

    128
    See, I did beat you.

    129
    Yeah. Calm down. Brad, com'ere. Com'on honey, focus, would you?

    130
    Com'ere. Come here! Stand here.

    131
    Listen. Listen up. Focus, please. All right?

    132
    I need you guys to do me a favor.

    133
    I want you both to make life a little easier for your mom, okay?

    134
    You are driving her nuts. Guys, listen! Hey, hey. Stop it! Brad!

    135
    Help her out around the house;

    136
    but most of all let us stop the obnoxious behavior, OK? -

    137
    Hey, listen. I mean it!

    138
    OK? Quit the clowning.

    139
    Your brother may think its funny, but I don't.

    140
    I can't help it.

    141
    Yes, you can.

    142
    There's nothing wrong with you that a little self-control wouldn't fix.

    143
    Now, stop it.

    144
    - Norman? - Yeah!

    145
    They're not going to hold that plane for you.

    146
    Okay, all right. Gimme a hug.

    147
    See you, Dad!

    148
    Bye-bye, J-man

    149
    I love you, Dad.

    150
    Love you too, kiddo.

    151
    Hey, listen up; we'll stay at my house next time. OK?

    152
    OK! I'll get tickets to a Braves' game.

    153
    And Brad, remember what we talked about:

    154
    Self- control. All right?

    155
    - Need any help with anything, Mom? - Well...

    156
    now that you mention it...

    157
    After the divorce, Jeff and I helped Mom with her new business.

    158
    Sort of a high class traveling boutique.

    159
    Well, maybe helped isn't exactly the right word.

    160
    Oh, Ellen, these things are exquisite!

    161
    You never find styles like this in St. Louis.

    162
    Well, it is direct from California. Beverly Hills.

    163
    This is what everyone is wearing.

    164
    Look at this. Boys? Boys!

    165
    Hide and seek?

    166
    Count.

    167
    One...

    168
    Now, Ellen, I don't want to see anything in double-digits.

    169
    Oh, honey, everything in California runs small.

    170
    Go ahead. Just try it on.

    171
    Brad, would you please calm down?

    172
    He's barking like a dog, for goodness sake!

    173
    Now look.

    174
    Don't take this the wrong way -

    175
    you know I wouldn't say this to you if we weren't friends -

    176
    but have you considered an exorcist?

    177
    You know, I think you might have to face the fact that you're a size 12.

    178
    I can cut the label if it makes you feel better.

    179
    It's a new doctor; let's just listen to what he has to say.

    180
    I know what he'll have to say.

    181
    Do you feel any anger toward your mother because of the divorce, Brad?

    182
    No. No.

    183
    Do you resent your father because he doesn't live with you anymore?

    184
    No.

    185
    Do you blame yourself for the divorce, Brad?

    186
    It happened when I was a little kid, I don't even remember it.

    187
    Mrs. Chen, Brad has some serious denial issues regarding the divorce.

    188
    What he needs at home are some clear boundaries.

    189
    He needs to understand that this behavior is totally unacceptable.

    190
    And that, Mrs. Cohen, is your job.

    191
    The hardest part was knowing how tough I made things for Mom.

    192
    I tried as best as I could for her.

    193
    Make sure he keeps taking his medication, OK?

    194
    And for Dad?

    195
    Strike three!

    196
    I played sports.

    197
    On the ball field, I fit right in.

    198
    I mean, everybody makes funny noises and has strange tics at a baseball game.

    199
    Go, Bobo!

    200
    Come on, Brad!

    201
    Thank you very much.

    202
    All right. What can I get you?

    203
    Hey, guys. I got something pretty exciting to tell you.

    204
    Honey, don't eat so fast. You're gonna get the hiccups.

    205
    He's always got the hiccups.

    206
    You're a hiccup!

    207
    Listen, hey! Would you just relax?.

    208
    Mom says you're not taking your meds.

    209
    How are you ever... how are you ever going to calm down

    210
    if you don't do what the doctor tells you to do?

    211
    Pills just make it worse.

    212
    Oh I see. So you're a doctor now, too?

    213
    He's Dr. Bobo.

    214
    Shut up!

    215
    All right, guys, let's eat, guys.

    216
    I have a very important announcement to make.

    217
    Guys? Guys! All right. That's it. We're going back to the car. Come on.

    218
    I'm still hungry -

    219
    You know what would be nice? One day without you acting up.

    220
    One.

    221
    Wait up, Dad.

    222
    So, what's the announcement, Dad?

    223
    I've been seeing someone.

    224
    What do you mean seeing somebody?

    225
    Her name is Diane, and she...

    226
    Brad, please! Stop doing that!

    227
    I can't.

    228
    I mean, nothings' happened yet, but...

    229
    how would you guys feel about having a stepmom?

    230
    No way!

    231
    We've already got a Mom!

    232
    Well. Now you're gonna have two.

    233
    I talked to your mom about it and she's fine with it. She said...

    234
    I said STOP It! STOP It!

    235
    See, I really couldn't blame Dad for losing it.

    236
    My tics drove him nuts.

    237
    Because, like my teachers, he had no name for my strange behavior.

    238
    Except "insufferable".

    239
    Now, somehow - I don't know how - I made okay grades.

    240
    But, what would take a normal person an hour, took me two.

    241
    Or three. I mean, I loved learning but I hated, hated reading.

    242
    Trying to concentrate brought out the worst in my Constant Companion.

    243
    Brad? Come up here, please.

    244
    I know you think you're the class clown but I've had it with you.

    245
    I can't - help - help it.

    246
    That's what you always say. I don't want to hear any more excuses.

    247
    Your classmates are trying to study...

    248
    ...and your clowning makes it impossible.

    249
    I'm sorry.

    250
    Don't apologize to me. Apologize to them.

    251
    Eyes up here, everyone. Sit up straight, please.

    252
    Brad has something to say to you.

    253
    I'm sorry I...

    254
    that you can't study because of me.

    255
    And?

    256
    You promise never to make any more silly noises ever again.

    257
    Promise I won't make any more silly noises ever again.

    258
    Take your seat. All of you, back to your books.

    259
    As difficult as this may be for you,

    260
    Mrs. Cohen, I assure you, the teachers are at their wits end.

    261
    - I understand that, of course... - Sharon, would you hold all my calls?

    262
    ...but all we...

    263
    Now, this has got to be the last chance. The very last chance.

    264
    Brad, look, I sent for your mother

    265
    because things have just gotten out of control here.

    266
    Now, she's going to take you home today. You can come back...

    267
    Can't help it.

    268
    Sorry, what did you say?

    269
    He said he can't help it.

    270
    Right.

    271
    What if he's telling the truth?

    272
    You've got a bright boy, Mrs. Cohen, but making excuses for him...

    273
    Making excuses is not going to help.

    274
    Now, he needs to use this time to ask himself...

    275
    Brad! Com'on. Let's go.

    276
    ...this question: "Why am I sabotaging myself?."

    277
    I don't care if they expel me. I hate that school.

    278
    Well, it's that school or another school.

    279
    I hate all schools. Why are we going here -?

    280
    To find some answers.

    281
    I can't go in the library - they'll throw me out. Please, Mom.

    282
    All right, com'ere. Sit over here.

    283
    Well, maybe we're just going down the wrong track.

    284
    Who?

    285
    All of us.

    286
    Get off me!

    287
    Wet Willie!

    288
    Oh no, wet Willie!

    289
    I know you're busy, Norman, I won't take up much of your time

    290
    but I really think you should hear this -

    291
    Boys, keep it down - I'm trying to talk to your Dad!

    292
    I wanna talk to him!

    293
    In a minute! Keep it down!

    294
    Listen. You know, those teachers and that doctor,

    295
    to them it's all about bad parenting which, of course,

    296
    comes down to me because I'm the only one who here -

    297
    No. I'm not blaming you, Norman.

    298
    In fact, I'm going to stop blaming myself.

    299
    I was talking to a friend and she think the doctors are missing something.

    300
    I got this stack of medical books from the library.

    301
    - Mom, watch out! - And, I've been doing a little...

    302
    research...

    303
    Stop saying he just needs more discipline, Norman!

    304
    Nothing I do helps -

    305
    He is out of control and I'm at the end of my rope -

    306
    Can I talk to Dad?

    307
    Can you just wait a minute, honey?

    308
    MOM!

    309
    All right. But give him back to me when you're done.

    310
    What is it, Jeffrey?

    311
    Hey, Dad.

    312
    Yeah, it was a great game; I got two base hits and a walk.

    313
    Sorry I cause you so much trouble, Mom.

    314
    I want you to read something in this book I found.

    315
    It's a medical book that might explain why you make all those noises.

    316
    I hate reading, Mom -

    317
    Read.

    318
    "Tourette Syndrome. "

    319
    That, that's Brad, isn't it? The noises and the twitches...

    320
    I'll still need to do more tests but, umm, you could be right.

    321
    We may have been headed down the wrong road, here.

    322
    I've never actually seen a case of Tourette's before.

    323
    So at last my Constant Companion had a name...

    324
    This says there's no cure. But that may have changed. This is an old book -

    325
    That hasn't changed, Mrs. Cohen. I'm very sorry.

    326
    Yeah, but they're still looking for a cure, right?

    327
    I mean, they will find one, won't they? They - they... have to find...

    328
    It's OK, Mom. We'll get through this, all right.

    329
    Oh, come here.

    330
    SEE? There's a reason, Dad.

    331
    Joop, joop, I'm not being weird on purpose.

    332
    Listen, uh, Brad. I, um...

    333
    All right. Well, it's all I wanted to say. Bye.

    334
    Finally, my dad believed me. But he never believed in me.

    335
    That I would succeed. That I could teach.

    336
    Hello, this is Brad.

    337
    A dog? Ahh, yes. Yes, ma'am, that's my dog.

    338
    Ahh, OK. Yes. Yes, I can be there 11am.

    339
    My very first interview...

    340
    Great. That sounds great. OK. Thank you.

    341
    I tried not to over-react. I help in my tics.

    342
    YES! Waffle, yes!

    343
    After that first call, I got two more: three interviews with three principals.

    344
    Needless to say, my Constant Companion was more than a little enthusiastic.

    345
    Well, I see you only your bachelor's degree.

    346
    Are you planning to get your Master's?

    347
    Yes, sir. JOOP! As soon as I can.

    348
    Well, we don't require it for entry level...

    349
    - but if you're serious about... - I'm very serious.

    350
    I want to make teaching my life.

    351
    I, ahh, I make these noises because I have Tourette Syndrome.

    352
    I'd like to tell you about it.

    353
    It's a Neurological disorder where my brain sends mixed signals to my body.

    354
    It's like a sneeze. It's irrepressible.

    355
    ...a couple of weeks, and I'll give you a call.

    356
    - OK! - OK. Thank you very much.

    357
    - Thanks. - Take care.

    358
    Well. Strike one.

    359
    But, like Mom always said, don't ever give up.

    360
    When I was little, Mom never stopped researching because,

    361
    while there was no cure, there might be ways to live a normal life.

    362
    It's a church, Mom!

    363
    Honey, you're not going to have to get a Bible lesson.

    364
    This is just a support group.

    365
    Do I have to?

    366
    You need to connect with other people who have Tourette's.

    367
    Find out how they live with it. OK?

    368
    Let's do it.

    369
    I'm not going in there -

    370
    Honey...

    371
    I'd never seen anyone with Tourette's before.

    372
    There were eye blinkers and nose twitchers.

    373
    Foot stompers and neck jerkers. Some of them yelped and coughed.

    374
    Is this what I looked like to other people?

    375
    Come on, Bobo. We're here to learn. Let's start learning.

    376
    The Americans with Disabilities Act gives us

    377
    the right to do anything or go anyplace that we want to.

    378
    But try going to a movie.

    379
    Or a concert or a restaurant.

    380
    That law doesn't mean anything when people are yelling at you to shut up.

    381
    I come home and my parents close the windows and blinds

    382
    because they don't want the neighbors to see me tic.

    383
    No one was even trying to be accepted.

    384
    The audits were out of work. The kids stayed at home.

    385
    I knew one thing...

    386
    I didn't want to be like them.

    387
    Even the coaches on his team wouldn't accept him.

    388
    Oh, I'd had it.

    389
    Of course, you're home-schooling, too?

    390
    No. Brad goes to school like any other kid.

    391
    These kids are not like any other kids; school's a waste of time for them.

    392
    I took him out at the third grade just to save my sanity.

    393
    You want my advice...

    394
    ...you'll do the same.

    395
    Yep. Thanks.

    396
    Let's go, Bobo.

    397
    It's supposed to be a support group! Where's the support?

    398
    Supposed to just hide away for the rest of your life?

    399
    I'm really so sorry that I brought you there, honey, let's just forget this -

    400
    I don't want to forget this, Mom.

    401
    Those people let Tourette's win. I'm never gonna do that.

    402
    It's difficult to imagine that at the age of twelve

    403
    I would find a genuine philosophy to live by.

    404
    But here it was. This defining moment.

    405
    To always face my adversity head on.

    406
    When I went to my next interview, I decided to be even more up front.

    407
    Get the Tourette's stuff out of the way first

    408
    and then dazzle 'em with my approach to teaching.

    409
    you seem to have been very successful

    410
    ...in spite of your Tourette's.

    411
    I've worked very hard to become the best teacher I can be -

    412
    Thank you for coming in. I'll let you know.

    413
    Thanks.

    414
    So much for being up front.

    415
    For my third interview,

    416
    I decided to discussing about my Tourette's at all.

    417
    Each week I like to send home a progress report to my students' parents.

    418
    Um, I like to give my students a voice in their learning -

    419
    to be hands-on... and interactive in the classroom...

    420
    but also to keep the parents closely involved!

    421
    Ron, it was a huge mistake not mentioning my Tourette's.

    422
    It was, you know, I was trying to hide it -

    423
    Fat chance.

    424
    Okay, that's the negative -

    425
    No. The negative is you've gotta stop stressing out. You're stressing me out.

    426
    But the positive is that, hey,

    427
    the others didn't seem to have a problem with it, right?

    428
    I just, I gotta wait for a call.

    429
    The positive is you're coming out with me.

    430
    My new girlfriend - she has a roommate -

    431
    Will you stop trying to set me up?

    432
    When I am ready to date, I will date.

    433
    Come on, she heard all about you; she still wants to meet you.

    434
    Oh thanks. Real kind. Listen, I want to relax. OK?

    435
    I want to watch the Braves.

    436
    We all want to watch the Braves. Get changed.

    437
    So, Ron tells me that you're on a big job hunt.

    438
    How's it going?

    439
    Ahh, pretty good.

    440
    Except no one's hired me yet.

    441
    I guess they're all too busy fighting to get me.

    442
    You do this?

    443
    I'm impressed by this.

    444
    - You should be. - I was not expecting this.

    445
    That's amazing.

    446
    But I'm pretty good.

    447
    You are.

    448
    So you are really a sports fan?

    449
    Ah, yes. Big time. Soccer, softball... tennis.

    450
    Yep, I played a lot in college, but I'm not good enough for the pros.

    451
    I hear that because I wish I was good enough to be him.

    452
    Who?

    453
    Him.

    454
    Oh, you want to be a mascot?

    455
    - His name is Homer... - Homer.

    456
    And it's a lifelong ambition.

    457
    OK. All right.

    458
    - Don't look now. - OK.

    459
    Don't look now, but there's this guy behind us

    460
    and I don't know what his problem is. He keeps staring.

    461
    Ahh. I actually get that look a lot.

    462
    It's a look of envy.

    463
    He's thinking, "How can I make cool noises like that guy?"

    464
    You have such a great attitude about your...

    465
    Bye Homer! Bye. Bye, Ron!

    466
    Bye.

    467
    Bye, Homer! Go, Braves!

    468
    So that must have gone well, huh? Did you ask her out again?

    469
    Yeah, I asked. But, it's second date syndrome.

    470
    You know, I'm a great guy, she had a lot of fun, but, umm...

    471
    Your tics are just too cool for her?

    472
    Actually, no, she says because my roommate's breath smells so bad.

    473
    What do you mean?

    474
    You know what I mean.

    475
    This is Brad. Ahh, hey, Dad.

    476
    Yeah, no, Ron - Ron told me you called.

    477
    I just, ahh, you know, I've been so busy that, ah...

    478
    No. I haven't had lunch yet.

    479
    All right, that sounds great. Where do you want to meet?

    480
    Lunch at Dad's work.

    481
    He wouldn't have to worry about my noises there.

    482
    Let me know if you need any more of those trusses, OK?

    483
    All right.

    484
    - Hey. - Hey!

    485
    Hey, Dad. See you found your way.

    486
    Yeah.

    487
    Let's grab lunch outside my office. Be a little more private.

    488
    All right.

    489
    Diane's wondering when you're gonna come by.

    490
    I guess you've been pretty busy with the job hunt. Any luck?

    491
    Still interviewing.

    492
    How's that going?

    493
    Are they giving you any trouble with your, uh...?

    494
    You can say the word, Dad: Tourette's.

    495
    Some of them are. Some of them aren't.

    496
    How's your money holding out?

    497
    I'm not asking you for money.

    498
    I know that. You never ask me for anything.

    499
    No.

    500
    But if you ever do get short, you know you gotta job with me here.

    501
    I'm going to teach, Dad.

    502
    OK?

    503
    I can't let anything get in the way of that.

    504
    OK. I'm jut saying there's nothing wrong...

    505
    ...with keeping your options open in case things don't work out.

    506
    You know, there are other things besides teaching.

    507
    Not for me.

    508
    Dad could never understand my optimism.

    509
    Like when I graduated to middle school.

    510
    I was really hopeful that things would be different.

    511
    What's the matter Brad? Eat alone?

    512
    Make a fresh start. New school. New friends.

    513
    Same result.

    514
    Today, we're going to be talking about fractions.

    515
    Fractions are your friend. Use fractions...

    516
    ...in every day life.

    517
    You just don't realize it.

    518
    For example, say your mother bakes a pie.

    519
    She cuts that pie.

    520
    Cohen! Just go to the principal's office.

    521
    Not the best way to introduce myself to the principal.

    522
    What do you think a school's for, Brad?

    523
    I'm sorry I keep disrupting the class -

    524
    You're not answering my question. What's a school for?

    525
    To educate, isn't it?

    526
    To use knowledge to wipe out ignorance?

    527
    The school orchestra's having a concert this afternoon.

    528
    You planning on going?

    529
    No, sir. My tics will ruin the music.

    530
    I want you to be there.

    531
    Everybody just keep your seats for a minute, please.

    532
    Thank you. Did you enjoy the concert?

    533
    Great job.

    534
    Did you hear any noises during the quiet parts?

    535
    YES!

    536
    Yeah. So did I.

    537
    They're pretty annoying, aren't they?

    538
    The person making those noises is Brad Cohen.

    539
    Come on up here, Brad.

    540
    Do you like making noises and upsetting people, Brad?

    541
    No, sir.

    542
    Then why do you do it?

    543
    Because I have Tourette Syndrome.

    544
    What's that?

    545
    It's a thing in my brain that causes me to make weird noises.

    546
    But you could control it if you wanted to, right?

    547
    No, sir. It's a sickness.

    548
    Well, why can't you just get cured?

    549
    There isn't any cure.

    550
    I don't like making noises any more than you like hearing them.

    551
    They're even worse when I get stressed,

    552
    when you don't accept that I can't stop them.

    553
    But when I feel accepted, then they're not so bad.

    554
    What can we do -

    555
    and I mean everyone in this school -

    556
    What can we do to help you, Brad?

    557
    I just want to be treated like everybody else.

    558
    Good job. Go sit down.

    559
    A few words - a little education -

    560
    and it was like opening a door to a brand new world.

    561
    Now some day, some way, I knew,

    562
    Tourette's or no Tourette's,

    563
    I was going to be a teacher.

    564
    I had no choice but to prove that Tourette's would

    565
    never get the best of me.

    566
    If I quit, I would be agreeing with everyone

    567
    who ever told me I was barking up the wrong tree.

    568
    Sorry about the air conditioning. Supposed to already be fixed by now.

    569
    That's all right.

    570
    Well, umm, your resume looks okay.

    571
    And we do have an opening in fifth grade.

    572
    OK.

    573
    But I do have to tell you: this is a tough place to work.

    574
    We've got some really hard cases.

    575
    Well, I take that as a challenge.

    576
    I don't believe that any kid is hopeless.

    577
    You know, they all want to learn; you can't ever give up.

    578
    Let me just...

    579
    You just gotta find the right way to teach them.

    580
    Ahh, you got something stuck in your throat?

    581
    Would you like a drink?

    582
    I have Tourette Syndrome. I'd like to tell you about it.

    583
    - It's a neurological... - Tourette's?

    584
    Isn't that where you yell out obscenities?

    585
    That's coprolalia, It's, ahh, it's a rare symptom

    586
    that a small percentage of people with Tourette's have.

    587
    - I don't have that. - OK, listen.

    588
    They did not tell me that you were going to be handicapped.

    589
    How do you expect to handle a bunch of wild students

    590
    with a handicap like that?

    591
    Well. By educating them.

    592
    By letting them know it's okay to talk about it.

    593
    - It's okay to ask questions... - These students would laugh at you.

    594
    Not... not when they understand

    595
    - it's simply a matter of... - OK. I have seen teachers

    596
    with disabilities before...

    597
    ...but never with what you've got.

    598
    I just don't see how you could ever teach a class.

    599
    I can teach! Look at my resume.

    600
    Look at it! Ok?

    601
    I was very successful as a student teacher -

    602
    my Tourette's never posed a problem!

    603
    I can teach!

    604
    OK. Bottom line: I need somebody now for fifth grade.

    605
    You want to teach here,

    606
    you're gonna have to refrain from making these noises in class.

    607
    You know what? Thank you very much for the interview.

    608
    But, don't you want the job -?

    609
    Yes, actually. I want it really bad.

    610
    But I would never, ever work for a man who doesn't care about his students.

    611
    So, I'll take my portfolio and, ahh, and take no more of your time.

    612
    You got a great boss.

    613
    Well, it was the worst interview I've ever had.

    614
    All he could see when he looked at me was my Tourette's.

    615
    That's all any of them see.

    616
    Well, honey, if they can't see what a great teacher you'd be

    617
    that is their failure, not yours.

    618
    Well, it sure seems like my failure.

    619
    Well, if you say so. You know what?

    620
    Why don't you just throw in the towel and come home, huh?

    621
    I'll buy you a ticket.

    622
    I'm not saying that -

    623
    Really? That sounds like what you're saying.

    624
    It sounds like you're letting Tourette's win.

    625
    I am not letting Tourette's win!

    626
    - Really? - Yes, really!

    627
    Look, I'm never going to give up, I just...

    628
    I have to find the right school.

    629
    You will, Bobo. You will.

    630
    So, I decided it wasn't Tourette's.

    631
    I just hadn't found the right school yet.

    632
    I'd keep barking, and I wasn't quitting until I found that principal.

    633
    I made a map of every school where I hadn't interviewed.

    634
    If the Principal wasn't in, I'd give my resume to a secretary or a janitor,

    635
    and ask them to drop it off when the principal returned.

    636
    I didn't care. I needed a job.

    637
    I wasn't going to stop until I had one.

    638
    You'll be starting at the bottom,

    639
    but that's no big deal, that's where I started.

    640
    And you're working 7 to 4.

    641
    I told you this is only part time.

    642
    I need to keep mornings open for interviews.

    643
    I thought that school had already started.

    644
    No, not all of them.

    645
    Well, we'll see what happens.

    646
    Here are your tools of the trade - at least for the time being.

    647
    Like I said, at the bottom.

    648
    But every job is important here, and - who knows -

    649
    maybe you'll end up liking it. And if you put your time in...

    650
    Didn't you hear what I just said?

    651
    I'm only working here until I get a teaching job -

    652
    All that stuff has to go in the dumpster.

    653
    The hiring season was ending.

    654
    My interviews had dried up. School had started.

    655
    I was running out of time and money... and hope.

    656
    Diane.

    657
    I gave up on you ever coming to me so I just came to you.

    658
    You busy?

    659
    It was my stepmom, Diane. Trying to build bridges with bagels.

    660
    Your Dad built his business with his own two hands;

    661
    you can't blame him for wanting you to be a part of it.

    662
    He's just being a dad.

    663
    He wants you in his life.

    664
    So how do you like Atlanta? You meet any nice girls?

    665
    I'm just saying all the right things, huh?

    666
    Let me get you a refill -

    667
    Brad. Brad,

    668
    your dad loves you...

    669
    ...so much.

    670
    He just doesn't want to see you get hurt -

    671
    The only thing that hurts is the fact that he has never accepted who I am.

    672
    See, he's got this idea of a perfect son,

    673
    who is "normal" and does "normal" things.

    674
    Well, I'm never gonna be "normal. "

    675
    Well, maybe that's not his idea, Brad.

    676
    Maybe that's yours. And you're right, you are not normal.

    677
    You have this gift to teach,

    678
    and it's not in spite of your Tourette's,

    679
    it's because of it.

    680
    I have to go.

    681
    Hello, this is Brad.

    682
    Ahh, yes.

    683
    That's a sheepdog.

    684
    Yep, Brad. Brad Cohen.

    685
    Ten o'clock is - is perfect for me.

    686
    Absolutely. OK, great.

    687
    Raise your hand. Raise your hand!

    688
    You gotta raise your hand! Come on.

    689
    You must be Brad Cohen.

    690
    Hi.

    691
    I'm Jim Ovbey; I'm the Principal around here. And...

    692
    Hilarie Straka, Assistant Principal.

    693
    Hi.

    694
    Come on in the office, Brad.

    695
    We heard you coming all the way from the parking lot.

    696
    Hear you've been making the rounds.

    697
    Twenty-five schools so far. And, uh, here's, here's my resume.

    698
    - Oh. Here. - Oh.

    699
    We can look at that in a minute, Brad.

    700
    Just come on in, tell us why you want to be a teacher.

    701
    OK.

    702
    Well, it's, uh, oh, it's, it's all I ever wanted to be.

    703
    Ever since I was in school.

    704
    You must have had some pretty inspiring teachers.

    705
    Ah, well. I had an inspiring principal - Mr. Myer -

    706
    but my teachers, they really only

    707
    inspired me to be the kind of teachers they never were.

    708
    What kind of teacher is that?

    709
    One who makes it possible for a kid to learn even if he's different.

    710
    In a way, the, the best teacher I ever had was my Tourette's.

    711
    You, you don't have to talk about that, Brad.

    712
    No, it's OK. I make a point of being open about it.

    713
    It's, ah, never off-limits to my students.

    714
    They can ask me anything they want about it at any time.

    715
    You must get some pretty interesting questions.

    716
    Oh, yeah. Sometimes it gets really personal.

    717
    I hope this question isn't too personal, Brad.

    718
    Do you make those noises in your sleep?

    719
    I don't know. I'm asleep.

    720
    No. No, I don't tic in my sleep.

    721
    When I'm relaxed, the noises give me a little bit of a break. Like just now.

    722
    Okay Brad. I want to hear more about your teaching philosophy...

    723
    Yeah. I'd love to tell you about my teaching philosophy.

    724
    We talked for nearly two hours, it was the best interview I'd ever had -

    725
    Well, Brad, it was a pleasure to meet you.

    726
    You, too. You, too.

    727
    We've still got a few more teachers to interview.

    728
    But we'll let you know when we've made a decision.

    729
    Ok, great.

    730
    - Thank you. - Thank you...

    731
    Still, my Constant Companion, as always, warned me not to get my hopes up.

    732
    But hope is a hard habit to break.

    733
    I was called one last time to and asked come in and meet with the second grade staff.

    734
    Oh, so, you student-taught second grade?

    735
    Oh, I love second grade! The kids are still so open-minded.

    736
    They're open to everything.

    737
    Yes, but you do manage to maintain a little discipline, right?

    738
    While they're being so open?

    739
    I do let them know what the boundaries are. Yes.

    740
    So, Brad. What do you think is the most important thing you have to teach?

    741
    Yeah. Ah, well.

    742
    Besides the importance of reading and the value of math...

    743
    that it's okay to be yourself.

    744
    It's okay to color outside the lines if that's who you are.

    745
    So it's okay to ignore the boundaries?

    746
    No, and I didn't...

    747
    I'm sorry but how can you expect kids to learn

    748
    when you're doing that all the time?

    749
    Oh. Come on, Brenda -

    750
    No, no, no. It's OK. It's a valid question.

    751
    I want to answer it.

    752
    Before they know me, kids sometimes do think I'm just weird, even scary.

    753
    But, once I educate them about my Tourette's -

    754
    and they see that Mr. Cohen is a real person

    755
    who just happens to make funny noises,

    756
    well, then they accept me as a good teacher.

    757
    Just like they accept all of you.

    758
    Well, maybe we should all try to be more like second-graders.

    759
    Does anyone have any other questions for Mr. Cohen?

    760
    Brad thanks for coming in.

    761
    The school will be in touch with you, so just be patient.

    762
    It's hard to be patient when you feel as though you've blown your last chance.

    763
    And patience never was my Constant Companion's strong suit -

    764
    I'm guessing you never heard from that school.

    765
    No, not yet. They're still interviewing.

    766
    I'm not worried.

    767
    Okay.

    768
    Is that supposed to mean?

    769
    I just said "okay. "

    770
    I know what you mean -

    771
    you don't think anybody would hire me if they had a choice.

    772
    What are you, a mind-reader now?

    773
    You know what, Dad? This is gonna be my last day here?

    774
    Well, why don't you wait and see if you got the job first?

    775
    I'm gonna get the job, Dad.

    776
    I just have to stay focused.

    777
    Why can't you stay focused and realistic at the same time?

    778
    What's wrong with that?

    779
    Here.

    780
    Whoa! Are you all right, man? You'll knock yourself out doing that!

    781
    What if that happens while you're driving?

    782
    I'm fine.

    783
    Uh, yeah, I don't know. You oughta see another doctor.

    784
    I've seen doctors my whole life, Ron. OK? They don't help.

    785
    Well, don't you think you need to see somebody?

    786
    I really don't!

    787
    So, just.

    788
    There I was.

    789
    Waiting for the phone to ring again.

    790
    I tried to convince myself something good would happen.

    791
    My kid brother... not exactly what I had in mind.

    792
    - How are you doing, Bobo? - Jeff,

    793
    what, what are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?

    794
    You know you're in your boxers, right?

    795
    Did, ah, Mom send you to check up on me?

    796
    Why? You need checking up on?

    797
    No, but...

    798
    Where do I put my stuff?.

    799
    That's great. You get the couch.

    800
    Whoa! Nice clubs, are these new?

    801
    Ah. They're Dad's, he let me borrow them.

    802
    Thought maybe you and I could, ah, play a little golf.

    803
    He got us a tee-time at his club.

    804
    So, what do you think? Three iron from here, little bro?

    805
    Hey, by the way, thanks for the round.

    806
    Thank Dad. Oh, wait, forgot...

    807
    ...you guys aren't speaking.

    808
    I don't want to talk about Dad right now.

    809
    You're just saying that to rattle me because you know -

    810
    I'm going to beat you.

    811
    I'm serious, Brad, you and Dad gotta start getting along.

    812
    We get along fine -

    813
    as long as we keep it long distance.

    814
    Is that why you moved down here? To keep it long distance?

    815
    I mean, it's not like you have anything to prove to him - right?

    816
    What are you now, Jeff, a shrink? Dr. Jeff, huh?

    817
    I'm sorry, sir?

    818
    I'm going to have to ask you to stop making those noises.

    819
    Look, pal.

    820
    - He's not doing it on purpose, he's got- - No, no, no. I can handle it, Jeff.

    821
    I got it.

    822
    Look, it's just not fair to the other golfers.

    823
    No, I understand, that, umm, I can't help making these noises -

    824
    because I have Tourette Syndrome.

    825
    It's a neurological disorder; I'd like to tell you about it.

    826
    You're gonna have to leave the course.

    827
    I gotta think of the other members.

    828
    Hey, Joe. Leave the guy alone. He's fine.

    829
    Hey, man. We're a twosome and our buddies don't appear to be showing.

    830
    Would you like to join us?

    831
    If you don't leave, I'm going to have to call security.

    832
    - OK, OK. Umm... - You...

    833
    OK. Thanks, guys. Maybe next year, all right?

    834
    Jeff, come on. Come on, buddy. Thanks.

    835
    Come on, Jeff, it's not like you haven't seen it before.

    836
    How can you stand living in a world where everybody's so ignorant?

    837
    Everybody's not. You saw those golfers back there.

    838
    They went to bat for me. My life is full of people like that.

    839
    That's not always been my experience.

    840
    Well, that's because you're always getting into fights sticking up for me.

    841
    You and mom. You've always been there for me and my tics.

    842
    You know what? You're beginning to "tick" me off... race you to the car.

    843
    - Oh, yeah? What! Hey! HEY! - Sucker!

    844
    Jeff's visit did give me a break from my worries.

    845
    And, right after he left, I got a call from the school.

    846
    The principal wanted to see me in his office.

    847
    Just like old times.

    848
    Pretty noisy, huh?

    849
    And yet somehow the kids manage, don't they?

    850
    Yes, they do. They do.

    851
    Hilarie and I discussed you with the teachers.

    852
    And, we talked about how proud we are of teaching our kids

    853
    to never let anything hold them back in life.

    854
    And, Hilarie said that if we're gonna talk the talk,

    855
    we need to walk the walk.

    856
    She's waiting to show you your classroom.

    857
    Welcome.

    858
    Second grade is overcrowded so we've had to create a new class.

    859
    Your kids are being taken out of other rooms

    860
    so some of them might be a little confused.

    861
    They've already been in school for three weeks.

    862
    There's your student roster.

    863
    The fun starts Monday, Brad.

    864
    Let me know if there's anything you need.

    865
    I need everything.

    866
    I looked down at that roster like I was announcing

    867
    the starting line-up for an all star baseball game.

    868
    Hilarie, this is, thank you...

    869
    Hey! We thought you might need these.

    870
    Hey, everybody, bring them in.

    871
    Just put them down anywhere. We'll get them arranged.

    872
    Here, let me help you with that. Thank you!

    873
    Welcome to Mountain View.

    874
    Yeah, Mom, it's phenomenal, but, you know,

    875
    it's taken me so long to get here I still have to remind myself

    876
    that I'm just at the beginning.

    877
    Honey, that is, that is wonderful news! That's wonderful.

    878
    Yes, yes, Mom.

    879
    It is absolutely wonderful, but, you know,

    880
    they've only given me a contract for a year. OK.

    881
    I still have to prove to them that they made the right choice -

    882
    Honey, listen, just take a moment to enjoy this.

    883
    Oh my gosh. Oh my...

    884
    Did you call your father? He is gonna be so proud of you.

    885
    I will, Mom. But, you know, right now,

    886
    I literally have about two weeks of preparation to do in about two days.

    887
    And, ah, you know, now that I have the job,

    888
    I gotta really seriously start working on getting my Master's degree.

    889
    OK, one thing at a time, all right?

    890
    Listen. Are there any cute teachers at that school?

    891
    Mom!

    892
    What? I want you to be happy.

    893
    OK, all right, yes.

    894
    Don't worry; I'm working on that, too. I gotta go. Goodbye.

    895
    You must be Brad...

    896
    You must be Nancy.

    897
    Hi, I'm Brad.

    898
    I know.

    899
    Right. Of course. I guess I'm a little nervous.

    900
    Please.

    901
    This is my first time computer dating.

    902
    - So... - Oh, yeah.

    903
    Me too. My mom thinks it's dangerous.

    904
    Well, yeah, I mean, you never know what kind of weirdo you might meet.

    905
    But you look pretty normal. So...

    906
    Good, I'm glad.

    907
    Actually, look much better than normal.

    908
    Thank you.

    909
    So, ahh, I guess we're just supposed to tell each other our life stories.

    910
    Umm, OK. Do, do...

    911
    ...you think I could get a, get a cup of coffee first?

    912
    - Cup of coffee. - Yeah.

    913
    Right. Yeah! Of course. Coming up.

    914
    Thanks.

    915
    Ah. Do you want, like, a muffin?

    916
    I'm on a diet.

    917
    But I would love a muffin.

    918
    My roommate is driving me absolutely crazy.

    919
    She never makes her bed; she's got clothes everywhere;

    920
    she's, like, always blasting her music...

    921
    ...night and day. But, of course, whenever I want to listen to my music,

    922
    she's all, like, "you need to keep it down".

    923
    So what kind of music do you listen to?

    924
    - Well, umm, - Yeah?

    925
    Mostly oldies stuff. Especially Sting -

    926
    Oh, I love Sting!

    927
    Madonna, Bon Jovi, you know

    928
    Milli Vanilli...?

    929
    I love Milli Vanilli!

    930
    Really?

    931
    Wait. You too?

    932
    We've gotta be the only two people on earth -

    933
    that love Milli Vanilli.

    934
    You do not.

    935
    Yeah!

    936
    Well, I had a really nice time. Thank you.

    937
    I shouldn't have had that muffin but...

    938
    I really enjoyed meeting you.

    939
    Yeah, me too.

    940
    OK. Well, thanks again, Brad.

    941
    I can't believe you! You said she was perfect -

    942
    She was perfect. I just didn't want to ruin it.

    943
    Oh, by asking to see her again? Oh, right: second date syndrome.

    944
    So is that gonna be your life? Nothing but first and only dates?

    945
    How do you ever expect to have a relationship?

    946
    Maybe I don't.

    947
    Come on in. Get in there. Come on in.

    948
    Weirdo!

    949
    Did your teachers warn you that Mr. Cohen makes funny noises?

    950
    Yeeesss.

    951
    She said you have Tour... tour...

    952
    Tourette Syndrome.

    953
    OK. Anything you want to know about it, I want you to ask.

    954
    Yes.

    955
    Is it catching...?

    956
    No. Absolutely not.

    957
    You have to be born with it, like I was.

    958
    Does it hurt?

    959
    Well, sometimes, like when my neck jerks.

    960
    But the noises do not hurt at all.

    961
    These are great questions, keep 'em coming.

    962
    And, it's okay to ask me anything -

    963
    about Tourette's - yes?

    964
    Can you go to movies?

    965
    Yes, I can go to movies,

    966
    but sometimes I get kicked out and that makes me sad.

    967
    What's the bunny's name?

    968
    Waffle -

    969
    Wa Wa Waffle!

    970
    His name is just Waffle!

    971
    All right, guys.

    972
    Any more questions about Tourette's?

    973
    Anyone?

    974
    Are they ever gonna make you well, Mr. Cohen?

    975
    Well. Right now there's no medicine that can cure Tourette's.

    976
    But, it's okay.

    977
    Cuz I've learned to accept it and I don't let it run my life.

    978
    What can't you do? Like... can you not eat?

    979
    I can eat. OK, I eat a lot.

    980
    In fact, I can do anything anybody else can do except

    981
    there is one thing that Mr. Cohen can never do.

    982
    What?

    983
    What is it?

    984
    Tell us -

    985
    Mr. Cohen can never play -

    986
    hide and go seek.

    987
    Why can't you play hide and seek?

    988
    Cause they'd hear him, stupid.

    989
    Well, that's the right answer but it's the wrong words

    990
    because there won't be any name- calling in Mr. Cohen's class,

    991
    Excuse me? Where are you going?

    992
    Bathroom.

    993
    And what's your name?

    994
    Thomas.

    995
    OK. Well, Thomas, if you want to leave your seat,

    996
    you have to ask for permission.

    997
    Weirdo.

    998
    Bye, Mr. Cohen.

    999
    Bye, Gaylon.

    1000
    Good bye, Mr. Cohen.

    1001
    Bye Heather, I'll see you tomorrow.

    1002
    I really like your class, Mr. Cohen!

    1003
    Oh, well, thank you, Amanda! How are you doing Mr. Wright?

    1004
    I'm fine.

    1005
    Four eyes!

    1006
    Four eyes!

    1007
    - Gimme gum! - Leave me alone!

    1008
    OK, take him, Thomas.

    1009
    Eli! Thomas! Which one of you guys thinks that you can help me? Huh?

    1010
    I can, I can!

    1011
    All right, all right. Here's the deal.

    1012
    I need to get this ball and put it back in that bin.

    1013
    Why don't you guys shoot for it?

    1014
    Rock, paper, scissor, shoot!

    1015
    Whoa! All right, Eli. You win today. Boom!

    1016
    Ah, man!

    1017
    It's OK, Thomas, you can help him.

    1018
    Sorry I stuck you with Thomas but he was making my class impossible.

    1019
    He's got a whole alphabet of problems: ADD, ADHD, OCD.

    1020
    You want my advice, you'll pass him on to Special Ed.

    1021
    No.

    1022
    I can't, ah, I can't do that.

    1023
    Oh. See how you feel after he's trashed a few classes.

    1024
    I'll be all right. I just need to get settled.

    1025
    I can't wait for tomorrow.

    1026
    OK.

    1027
    You make more noise than my air horn.

    1028
    Sounds like you got healthy case of Tourette's.

    1029
    I was just kidding with you, son. I've got a dispatcher buddy with TS.

    1030
    You ever need any cross-country hauling, just call for Maxine.

    1031
    Hey, umm. Do you have a card?

    1032
    I wasn't being serious, son. Unless you're in the shipping business.

    1033
    Nah, I teach second grade.

    1034
    - Here's the card. - All right.

    1035
    Maxine gave me a great idea for a geography lesson.

    1036
    Thank you so much, Maxine.

    1037
    You're welcome.

    1038
    Safe trucking.

    1039
    I found myself focusing on teaching all the time.

    1040
    Well, almost...

    1041
    You know what I just realized?

    1042
    What?

    1043
    All ducks have Tourette's.

    1044
    Why is that?

    1045
    I don't know. We're birds of a feather.

    1046
    So, it really doesn't bother you, does it?

    1047
    What?

    1048
    You know what. My Tourette's... my noises.

    1049
    Not when I compare them to the noises other guys make.

    1050
    You know, like, braggers, loud-talkers, egocentric, humor-challenged idiots.

    1051
    Seriously, no. Your noises don't bother me at all.

    1052
    As long as you keep me laughing.

    1053
    Well, don't say that. You know how I get under pressure.

    1054
    Oh, I'm sorry.

    1055
    My Dad has always said I was going to marry somebody who made me laugh.

    1056
    Not that that has anything to do with anything.

    1057
    Say something.

    1058
    Quack.

    1059
    Hey. Don't laugh. That was a serious quack.

    1060
    I got you though.

    1061
    Mr. Cohen!

    1062
    Hey!

    1063
    My Mom said to ask if it's okay.

    1064
    Is what okay, Heather?

    1065
    If I give this to Waffle.

    1066
    You tell your Mom that I said that's fine. OK?

    1067
    Did he say it was OK?

    1068
    Yeah.

    1069
    Feel OK?

    1070
    Um-Hmm.

    1071
    Yeah? I love you.

    1072
    I love you, too.

    1073
    You have a good day, OK?

    1074
    OK!

    1075
    I'll see you right after school.

    1076
    OK. Bye-bye.

    1077
    Amanda? Is everything all right?

    1078
    I wanna be in your class, Mr. Cohen.

    1079
    You are in my class, Amanda.

    1080
    No. He made them take me out -

    1081
    See you after school, honey. OK?

    1082
    It's not fair!

    1083
    Is everything OK? I'm Amanda's teacher, Mr. Cohen.

    1084
    - We met yesterday. - Oh, no, no, no.

    1085
    There's nothing wrong.

    1086
    I just have to do what's right for my daughter.

    1087
    Come on, Amanda.

    1088
    Come on.

    1089
    He's concerned about Amanda's ability to concentrate.

    1090
    He just thought that you'd make it a little harder for her.

    1091
    Can't he just give me a chance?

    1092
    We've only just started.

    1093
    I pointed that out.

    1094
    And?

    1095
    He said he was sympathetic

    1096
    but that Amanda needs - as he put it - a "normal teacher. "

    1097
    Don't take it to heart, Brad. Parents are the hardest part of the job.

    1098
    All right, who can tell me the names of the capitals Maxine

    1099
    and her big red truck have passed through? Anybody?

    1100
    Oh, all these hands! Excuse me. Excuse me.

    1101
    Ah, man. Who do I choose?

    1102
    I don't know.

    1103
    Heather.

    1104
    Atlanta... Nashville... um... Springfield?

    1105
    That's great! Because a lot of people think it's Chicago.

    1106
    And, ah, this is Springfield, right?

    1107
    Noooo.

    1108
    That's Indianapolis.

    1109
    Oh, that's right!

    1110
    So, what am I thinking? This is Springfield.

    1111
    NO!

    1112
    That's Columbus! Springfield's over there, Mr. Cohen.

    1113
    Where is it, Eli? Is it over here?

    1114
    Nooo!

    1115
    Where is Springfield?

    1116
    I don't know. You guys have to point it out to me.

    1117
    Point it out. Point it out.

    1118
    I don't see it there.

    1119
    Ahh! I see it!

    1120
    You're telling me that this is Springfield. Right?

    1121
    YES!

    1122
    You don't have permission to leave your seat, Thomas.

    1123
    That's right. Mr. Cohen has eyes in the back of his head.

    1124
    Go back and sit down, please. And next time, ask.

    1125
    But I need to sharpen my pencil.

    1126
    Now, Thomas.

    1127
    All right, now.

    1128
    Where's Maxine and her bug red truck going to be on Tuesday?

    1129
    ME! ME!

    1130
    See you bright early tomorrow, David.

    1131
    All right. Hey. Remember to walk.

    1132
    I really like your hat, Mr. Cohen.

    1133
    Well, thank you, Heather. I like your hair.

    1134
    It's just short 'cause of the medicine.

    1135
    Bye.

    1136
    Hey, honey!

    1137
    Hi, Mom.

    1138
    Can you wait right here for just a minute?

    1139
    - Sure. - OK.

    1140
    Hey, umm. I've been meaning to come and speak to you about Heather.

    1141
    I think I know...

    1142
    Yeah, umm. We were just reluctant to tell anybody at first.

    1143
    Of course it was only a matter of time before the chemo became obvious, so...

    1144
    Is she, ah, going to be okay...?

    1145
    Umm. Heather just loves your class.

    1146
    She can't wait to get to school every day.

    1147
    And, umm, I'd be grateful if you kept our secret a little longer.

    1148
    I just don't want her to be singled out.

    1149
    Yeah.

    1150
    Thanks. All right, baby girl. Let's go.

    1151
    Bye!

    1152
    How about... an ice cream?

    1153
    Yeah!

    1154
    OK.

    1155
    Uh-oh. What do you think? What do you think?

    1156
    I already have that one.

    1157
    Looks great on you, though.

    1158
    Hey, what's wrong?

    1159
    Oh, nothing, I'm just focusing on school stuff.

    1160
    Can you focus on me for a minute?

    1161
    Sorry.

    1162
    Hey, hey, hey! Try this one on!

    1163
    It'll make you feel better.

    1164
    - Yeah. - OK. Yes.

    1165
    - Yeah? - Yes!

    1166
    - Really? - Oh my goodness, this suits you.

    1167
    More than you know.

    1168
    I've, ah, decided it's time to go for my master's degree.

    1169
    Wow.

    1170
    Wow, does that, does that mean you'll be going away?

    1171
    No. I'd go locally.

    1172
    Anyhow, I have to pass the entrance test to graduate school first, so...

    1173
    Oh, wait. Isn't that like the SATs?

    1174
    Do you have to take that in a big room with a lot of people?

    1175
    Yeah. They said I could have a room all to myself.

    1176
    Ah, good.

    1177
    Tourette's does have its privileges.

    1178
    Would it bother you if I did go away...?

    1179
    Of course it would. Are you kidding me?

    1180
    Get out of here.

    1181
    Come here, I want to show you something.

    1182
    Crazy.

    1183
    Next!

    1184
    Hey, ah, chchchch, Brad Cohen.

    1185
    Brad Cohen.

    1186
    Here you are, Mr. Cohen.

    1187
    All right, I need you take this packet, and I need you to go right in there.

    1188
    Oh, I'm supposed to have special accommodations -

    1189
    I don't have any notation of that.

    1190
    I mean, everybody tests under the same conditions today.

    1191
    OK, yeah, but I called and they said -

    1192
    They said-

    1193
    They said that I could have a, ah, space to myself

    1194
    You know what? I need you to talk to the administrator about that.

    1195
    His office is right over there.

    1196
    I can't make an exception...

    1197
    ...we're not set up that way -

    1198
    They promised and I have the right to special testing accommodations -

    1199
    Listen, I'm sorry about your disability but there isn't anything I can do.

    1200
    If you want to take the test, you need to go in there now -

    1201
    Look at me! How could anybody possibly concentrate if I'm in that room?

    1202
    Listen, I have to start the exam, now.

    1203
    Do you need me to call you a doctor...?

    1204
    Isn't there anyone you can call for help?

    1205
    Brad, calm down, I can't understand you...

    1206
    Well, they said you could take it alone?

    1207
    OK. All right. No problem. I'll be right there.

    1208
    Has something happened?

    1209
    You can take the test. And you'll have a room to yourself.

    1210
    What did you say to them?

    1211
    The magic word: lawsuit.

    1212
    I've gotta get to work.

    1213
    Hey, Dad.

    1214
    Yeah?

    1215
    Thanks.

    1216
    Good luck on the test.

    1217
    As it turned out, I needed more than just Dad's good luck. I needed time.

    1218
    With the clock, and my Tourette's, ticking away.

    1219
    I failed to get all the way through the test.

    1220
    Good job, guys. Thomas I am so proud of you.

    1221
    Thank you, Mr. Cohen.

    1222
    Wow! Look at that turkey, Heather.

    1223
    Thank you.

    1224
    So. Are you gonna have a big Thanksgiving this year?

    1225
    Uh-huh. Mom says all my grandparents are gonna come.

    1226
    Well, that sounds special.

    1227
    'Cept when they cry.

    1228
    They try to hide it but I always see them.

    1229
    Can I pet Waffle?

    1230
    You bet you can pet Waffle.

    1231
    Are you gonna have a good Thanksgiving, Mr. Cohen?

    1232
    Yes, I am. Me and Waffle are going to take a little trip

    1233
    to see my Mom in St. Louis.

    1234
    I know where that is!

    1235
    Well, that is super, Heather. That's exactly where it is.

    1236
    Now, do me a favor, will you?

    1237
    And I'm going to trust you to take good care of my friend Waffle. All right?

    1238
    Sure.

    1239
    And I will be right back.

    1240
    Hi, Amanda. Shouldn't you ja be in your class?

    1241
    All right. Come on, I'll walk you to your room.

    1242
    Why can't I be in your class, Mr. Cohen?

    1243
    Well, ah. Your father had to do what was best for you, Amanda.

    1244
    And you know what? You've got a great teacher.

    1245
    OK... See you later, Mr. Cohen.

    1246
    Busted.

    1247
    Where did you learn those words, Thomas?

    1248
    You know you're not supposed to leave the class without asking.

    1249
    Well, you're going to clean that up.

    1250
    And then, ah, you're on detention: no recess.

    1251
    But you do get an "A" for spelling.

    1252
    You can't read it if you don't open it, Thomas.

    1253
    I hate reading.

    1254
    So do I.

    1255
    You do?

    1256
    Yeah. Reading's really hard for me.

    1257
    It's not hard for you. You're a teacher.

    1258
    You wanna bet? Let's play a game.

    1259
    You be Mr. Cohen trying to read; And I'll be Tourette Syndrome. OK?

    1260
    Read this page.

    1261
    "Once upon a time" -

    1262
    Keep reading.

    1263
    "... upon a time, there was a" - That itches.

    1264
    Does it itch a little bit? All right. Keep reading.

    1265
    "... there was a... "

    1266
    Hey, Thomas!

    1267
    All right. That's hard, isn't it?

    1268
    It's hard to concentrate.

    1269
    That's how hard reading is for me.

    1270
    It's not that hard for you, is it?

    1271
    No. It's easy for me.

    1272
    But... how can you be a teacher if you hate books?

    1273
    Hate books? I don't hate books. Everything in the world is in books.

    1274
    I just have to work extra hard to get it out.

    1275
    I'm not going to give up on you, buddy. OK?

    1276
    And I'm not going to let you give up on yourself.

    1277
    Now keep reading. Right here.

    1278
    "Once upon a time there was a" -

    1279
    Mag-magi...

    1280
    Magician.

    1281
    "A magician who met a small boy.

    1282
    A small boy who was trying to pull a big sword out of a big rock.

    1283
    Weird.

    1284
    Why would a sword be in a rock?

    1285
    Well, I don't know, but if you, ah, keep reading, you might just find out.

    1286
    "The magician told the small boy that whoever could pull the sword out of

    1287
    the rock would be the true king. " -

    1288
    Cool.

    1289
    Keep going. What happens next?

    1290
    Hey. What's wrong?

    1291
    Oh, I'm so nervous.

    1292
    What's there to be nervous about? You're just gonna meet my Mom -

    1293
    Thank you. That's, that's helpful.

    1294
    - And Jeff... and my aunts and uncles...

    1295
    and anybody I've ever loved... in my entire life.

    1296
    Prepare your self. This is big.

    1297
    I'm ready. Why do I have to prepare myself?.

    1298
    That's right. Prepare yourself.

    1299
    Oh, you're here!

    1300
    Oh, hi! I can't believe I'm finally meeting Nancy.

    1301
    Oh! You're even prettier than I thought -

    1302
    Brad has told me so much about you, Mrs. Cohen -

    1303
    Oh, Ellen.

    1304
    Well, that's more than he tells me about you -

    1305
    Wha-what! What? I tell you all about Nancy.

    1306
    Oh, you never tell me the real stuff.

    1307
    Come on, Nancy - Bobo, get the bags, honey.

    1308
    Yes, Bobo. Get on that.

    1309
    So, are you exhausted?

    1310
    No.

    1311
    Oh, good. Because we've got a pedicure appointment in an hour.

    1312
    Oh.

    1313
    - This is Nancy. - Hi.

    1314
    - Who I was telling you about. - So, nice to meet you.

    1315
    And, no, wait, Janet. Here, come and meet Janet.

    1316
    - OK. Hi! - Nancy. And one other person...

    1317
    Mom's going a little overboard making Nancy feel like family.

    1318
    Is that a possibility? Her being family?

    1319
    I don't know. I mean, you know,

    1320
    I know but I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't...

    1321
    Oh, yeah. It's, it's serious. Has she met Dad?

    1322
    No! No, no, no, no...

    1323
    Well, what are you waiting for?

    1324
    Hey. Back off, will'ya?

    1325
    ...He ended up falling flat

    1326
    and then he hit his head straight against the curb.

    1327
    Gave himself a concussion.

    1328
    Well, You'll excuse me, Nancy's needed in the kitchen.

    1329
    I'm just going to steal her for one second.

    1330
    Needed in the kitchen.

    1331
    OK.

    1332
    Are you rescuing me? Because I don't need rescuing -

    1333
    I do.

    1334
    What's going on -?

    1335
    How was your pedicure?

    1336
    If you're wondering

    1337
    what did your Mom and I talked about, we talked about you.

    1338
    And us.

    1339
    Is something wrong?

    1340
    I was just wondering,

    1341
    if I told you,

    1342
    I love you.

    1343
    I mean, it just, it scares me. Right?

    1344
    I never thought about it before.

    1345
    I never dared think about it.

    1346
    Look, Brad.

    1347
    She understands about your noises, she doesn't care.

    1348
    You know, you make her happy, Brad -

    1349
    she told me that, Brad. You make her laugh.

    1350
    Well, what if one day she stops laughing?

    1351
    What if one day she gets fed up of living with someone who -

    1352
    I just, I don't want to hurt her, Mom...

    1353
    Maybe you don't want to get hurt.

    1354
    Both.

    1355
    The only thing that can hurt either of you:

    1356
    is if you let Tourette's drive her away from you.

    1357
    If you let it win.

    1358
    Heather's mother had called to say

    1359
    Heather was no longer able to attend school.

    1360
    So, the class all pitched in to cheer her up -

    1361
    Oh, wow. Look at this table.

    1362
    It looks very good.

    1363
    Ah, this looks great over here.

    1364
    The news we'd all been dreading came a few weeks later...

    1365
    Hey.

    1366
    Hi, Mr. Cohen.

    1367
    What's up, Henry.

    1368
    Hi.

    1369
    - Hey, Eli. - Hi, Mr. Cohen.

    1370
    Hey, Mr. Cohen.

    1371
    What's up, Gaylon?

    1372
    These are my grandparents, James and Shirley.

    1373
    Sir, they're about to start the service.

    1374
    You go ahead.

    1375
    Mr. Cohen? Aren't you coming in?

    1376
    I'm sorry... I thought I could but I...

    1377
    I think I'd be too disruptive.

    1378
    You made such a huge difference in Heather's life.

    1379
    You were her favorite teacher.

    1380
    Please, don't leave without saying goodbye to her.

    1381
    Okay, Thomas... what is your team's word?

    1382
    Weird!

    1383
    Weird. Anybody not on Thomas's team know what that word means?

    1384
    Strange.

    1385
    Creepy.

    1386
    Scary.

    1387
    Very good.

    1388
    Who can use the word weird in a sentence?

    1389
    Me, oh, me!

    1390
    25, 30, 35, 40. The girl in pigtails. 50! Gaylon!

    1391
    "I like weird movies. " Sorry, Mr. Cohen.

    1392
    I know you can't go to them

    1393
    because you get thrown out of the movie theater.

    1394
    Well, that's OK, Gaylon.

    1395
    Boom. Because I can rent movies.

    1396
    And I also like weird movies.

    1397
    So weird is a good word, right?

    1398
    But what if someone comes up to you and they say, "Hey, you!

    1399
    Yeah, you. I'm talking to you. You're weird.

    1400
    Is it still a good word?

    1401
    Noooo.

    1402
    What, what's that?

    1403
    OK, everyone, stay in your seat.

    1404
    It's Maxine and big Red.

    1405
    Mr. Cohen, can't we go see them?

    1406
    Okay, but everyone... inside voices...

    1407
    Everyone line up by the door and no running.

    1408
    You got it. Yeah. Exactly. Eli, get in there, man.

    1409
    All right, but be careful.

    1410
    So, what do you think of it? Pretty cool, huh?

    1411
    Eli! What did I tell you? All right, no pulling the horn.

    1412
    Or else you guys are coming down.

    1413
    Sorry, Maxine.

    1414
    That's all right.

    1415
    Kids will be kids.

    1416
    Yes, yeah. Yeah, they will.

    1417
    They still getting along?

    1418
    Well, it looks like it.

    1419
    Give 'em time.

    1420
    I like Nancy.

    1421
    She reminds me of your Mom when we first met.

    1422
    They don't look anything alike.

    1423
    I'm not talking about looks; I'm talking about that...

    1424
    spark, that spirit, that, ah, "je ne sais quoi. "

    1425
    How are things at school?

    1426
    Oh, you know.

    1427
    We got more books than bookcases, roof leaks, budget cutbacks...

    1428
    Little worried they might not ask me back next year.

    1429
    There's plenty of teachers with a lot more experience than me.

    1430
    I'm proud of you regardless.

    1431
    Doesn't feel that way.

    1432
    Why do I feel like you're still embarrassed by me?

    1433
    And it's okay, Dad, you can admit it.

    1434
    You're not trying to start something...?

    1435
    No. No, no.

    1436
    But, you know, we're finally talking, and it's good, so let's talk.

    1437
    I've always been an embarrassment to you.

    1438
    I have, haven't I? Even when you used to come visit me,

    1439
    you used to squirm when all those eyeballs would click my way.

    1440
    You've never been able to accept it.

    1441
    You're right.

    1442
    It is tough being with you sometimes -

    1443
    I hate it when we go to restaurants and people give you those looks.

    1444
    Sometimes, I just...

    1445
    I just feel so helpless.

    1446
    You know, I've always been a guy who could fix things...

    1447
    ...but the one thing I could never fix was the one thing

    1448
    that was hurting you most.

    1449
    It doesn't need fixing.

    1450
    Nobody can fix it.

    1451
    I know. I know.

    1452
    But maybe it's my fault.

    1453
    Maybe I gave it to you.

    1454
    I think these babies are done.

    1455
    Come on, guys.

    1456
    We only have two minutes before the media center closes.

    1457
    Hurry up, back there. Stay to the side, guys.

    1458
    Stay to the side. What did I tell you? Guys in the back, come on, hurry up.

    1459
    Dad?

    1460
    What are you, ah, what are you doing here?

    1461
    You said you needed bookcases, didn't you?

    1462
    Your Father's built us new bookshelves for the library.

    1463
    Things are a little slow at the office.

    1464
    This way, gentlemen.

    1465
    Oh, and I got you something for your collection.

    1466
    Put it on, Mr. Cohen.

    1467
    A hard hat for an extremely hard head.

    1468
    Hey, class, that's my dad.

    1469
    Hi, Mr. Cohen!

    1470
    Hi!

    1471
    Come on.

    1472
    Come on!

    1473
    And, and Hilarie didn't say what this was about?

    1474
    No idea.

    1475
    We were at recess and she said she needs to see you in your classroom.

    1476
    I think it might have to do with next year.

    1477
    Here he is.

    1478
    Brad.

    1479
    Would you come over here a moment, please?

    1480
    Hilarie's got an announcement to make.

    1481
    Some of you may have noticed

    1482
    an observer hanging around school the last few weeks.

    1483
    Well, he was here to assess one of our teachers.

    1484
    Mr. Cohen.

    1485
    And I'm here to announce that our very own Brad Cohen has been chosen

    1486
    from amongst all the new educators in the state of

    1487
    Georgia to be Sallie Mae's First Year Teacher of the Year.

    1488
    As I looked at my students, I felt like a kid inside.

    1489
    Because children look at life differently than most audits.

    1490
    They see the world and say, I will. Not I can't. And so did I.

    1491
    This shirt's too tight. The label's digging in my back...

    1492
    I cut out the label. I don't know what you're so nervous about.

    1493
    You're in front of a crowd every day.

    1494
    Well, these aren't second-graders.

    1495
    Now...

    1496
    Oh, man, I wish I was invisible.

    1497
    Well, that is something you'll never have to worry about.

    1498
    Hold still, hold still!

    1499
    I love you.

    1500
    Go, Mr. Cohen!

    1501
    Come on, Bobo, you can get through this -

    1502
    Don't worry. He's going to get through it.

    1503
    The noise you just heard is the Tourette Syndrome

    1504
    I've been living with since I was six years old.

    1505
    I'm standing up here today because the love and support of

    1506
    a lot of people put me up here -

    1507
    My family,

    1508
    my school family, my students, and all my friends.

    1509
    I owe this award to all of them.

    1510
    But I also owe it to the toughest,

    1511
    and, and most dedicated teacher I ever had:

    1512
    my Constant Companion. My Tourette's.

    1513
    Now, some of you may think that's pretty weird to thank a disability...

    1514
    and calling it a great teacher?

    1515
    That's really weird.

    1516
    I mean, what could I possibly learn from a disability?

    1517
    Yes, Gaylon.

    1518
    You learned to keep going.

    1519
    Eli?

    1520
    You learned to not let it stop you.

    1521
    Yes, Thomas.

    1522
    You learned to not let it win!

    1523
    That's right.

    1524
    Coping with my Tourette's has taught me the most valuable lesson

    1525
    that anyone could ever learn:

    1526
    And that is to never let anything stop you from chasing your dream;

    1527
    from working or playing or falling in love.

    1528
    That's right.

    1529
    Coping with my Tourette's has taught me the most valuable lesson...

    1530
    Yes, Thomas.

    1531
    Can you bring that award to show and tell on Monday?

    1532
    You bet.
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